I found out recently that ASDA have started off their very own dating service. Considering my experience of ASDA this week amounted to what appeared to be "National Moron Day", I am in fear for our gene pool.
Look, I'm no trophy but when I go down to the local ASDA I feel like David 'Fucking' Beckham. Leisurewear Knights and Rihanna hair do's everywhere. I actually stop feeling like an awkward 14 year old in a 32 year old's body and suddenly puff up with the pride of an Adonis. This here is your selection pool for the lurrrve.
If Torture Porn wasn't already allocated to the film industry, I would allocate it to the vision coming into my minds eye as I try to picture my prospective evening of romance. Obviously this emotion is hitting a chord with my like minded peers, on breaking this news to those around me, the general facial expression was of "I just ate an olive". Olives are little balls of soul hell. No arguments.
Still, its nice to know that my shopping habits can be used to find a prospective partner to fuel the population of mouthbreathers in the UK. Looking forward to a future where I can just pluck a prospective lady from a virtual aisle along with some meat and cheese. I suppose you could call it e-Grabbing...
